Top 52 funny sex quotes compilation,a collection of best funny sex quotes

Top 52 funny sex quotes compilation,a collection of best funny sex quotes

Top 52 funny sex quotes compilation,a collection of best funny sex quotes

Sex is like bridge: If you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand. ~ Charles Pierce

Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets. – Andy Warhol

Sex is more fun than cars but cars refuel quicker than men. ~ Germaine Greer

Sex is nature, and I believe in going along with nature. ~ Marilyn Monroe

Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus. – Garrison Keillor

Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer. -Swami X

Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy. —Steve Martin

Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.- George Burns

Sex is… perfectly natural. It’s something that’s pleasurable. It’s enjoyable and it enhances a relationship.-Sue Johanson

Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn to reverence life until we know how to understand sex. -Havelock Ellis

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. —Woody Allen

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of the best.- Woody Allen

Sex… the pleasure is momentary, the position ridiculous, and the expense damnable.~ Lord Chesterfield

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble. ~ John Barrymore

She said she wanted a separation. I was horrified, and I said, ‘You want me to wear a condom!’—Jarod Kintz

Skiing is better than sex actually, because for me a good round of sex might be seven minutes. Skiing you can do for seven hours. – Spalding Gray

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less. ~ Brendan Francis

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic. ~ Rita Rudner

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. ~ Honore de Balzac

The natural thing, my lord, men and women joined. – Homer

The only unnatural sex act is that which you cannot perform. – Alfred Kinsey

The sexual embrace can only be compared with music and with prayer. – Marcus Aurelius

The way you make love is the way God will be with you. – Rumi

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments. —Chris Rock

There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don’t need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain. – Audrey Hepburn

There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex, they should draw the line at goats. – Elton John

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid. ~ Denis Leary

There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So 

what’s the problem?- Dustin Hoffman

There’s no sex in Middle Earth. – Ian McKellen

There’s very little advice in men’s magazines, because men think, I know what I’m doing. Just show me somebody naked.- Jerry Seinfeld

To have her here in bed with me, breathing on me, her hair in my mouth — I count that something of a miracle. – Henry Miller

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you’re impotent. She can’t wait to disprove it. – Cary Grant

We demand that sex speak the truth […] and we demand that it tell us our truth, or rather, the deeply buried truth of that truth about ourselves wich we 

think we possess in our immediate consciousness. – Michel Foucault

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation. —Lily Tomlin

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn’t understand math. —Mike Birbiglia

What’s the most popular pastime in America? Auto eroticism, hands down. ~ Scott Roeben

What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home. ~ Ken Hammond

What's wrong with a little incest? It's both handy and cheap. ~ James Agate

When I came here, I couldn’t speak a word of English, but my sex life was perfect. Now my English is perfect but my sex life is rubbish. ~ Julio Iglesias

Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. —Groucho Marx

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!- George Bernard Shaw

Women are cursed, and men are the proof. —Roseanne Barr

Women are systematically degraded by receiving the trivial attentions which men think it manly to pay to the sex, when, in fact, men are insultingly 

supporting their own superiority. – Mary Wollstonecraft

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.- Roseanne

Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think— in a deeper voice. —Bill Cosby

Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas. —Dave Attell

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.- Sharon Stone

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.-Billy Crystal

Women who love women are Lesbians. Men, because they can only think of women in sexual terms, define Lesbian as sex between women. – Rita Mae Brown

You can’t talk about fucking in America, people say you’re dirty. But if you talk about killing somebody, that’s cool. – Richard Pryor

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.- Steve Martin

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. ~ Milton Berle

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *