The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train. – Author Unknown
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All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought
The key is not to think of death as an end. But think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses
Children really brighten up a household – they never turn the lights off
Don’t use a big word where a diminutive word will suffice- A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t
When somebody tells you nothing is impossible, ask him to dribble a football
A wise man washes his hands after he pees. A wiser man doesn’t pee on his hands- One of the check-out counters had a sign that said “eight items or less”
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do
Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life
Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia
To make things simple…let’s automatically assume that everything I say is right