Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.- Tommy Cooper quotes
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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love
If you cannot answer a man’s argument, all it not lost; you can still call him vile names
The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train
The key is not to think of death as an end. But think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses- He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything
She was what we used to call a suicide blond ? dyed by her own hand
I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment
It used to take me all vacation to grow a new hide in place of the one they flogged off me during school term- He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of
One of the check-out counters had a sign that said “eight items or less”