I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.- Elayne Boosler quotes
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Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for
A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished
By all means marry; if you get a good wife
Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him
I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house
Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce
He’s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of
Communism is like prohibition, it’s a good idea but it won’t work- Giving up smoking is easy. I’ve done it hundreds of times
All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought
Who says nothing is impossible. I’ve been doing nothing for years