It's a recession when your neighbour loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours. ~ Harry S. Truman quotes
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He’s turned his life around
Wherever I go, people are waving at me
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose
All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought
Having sex is like playing bridge- If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous
- My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do
Like math? We could add a bed- Give a man a free hand and he’ll try to put it all over you
Life is a waste of time. Time is a waste of life
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday