Famous and funny dog quotes of all time

Famous and funny dog quotes of all time

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“You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, My God, you're RIGHT I NEVER would've thought of that' ” —  Dave Barry

 

“You can kidnap me and force me to be your watchdog if you want to. But I'm telling you, I will bark at any sound I hear and it will drive you crazy.  ” —  Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

 

“Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh There's so little hope for advancement.  ” —  Charles M. Schulz

 

“When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.  ” —  Edward Abbet,dog quotes

 

“When a dog runs at you, whistle for him.  ”—  Henry David Thoreau,dog quotes

 

“When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news.  ” —  John B. Bogart

 

“What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight  —  it's the size of the fight in the dog. ”  —  Dwight D Eisenhower

 

“We know that this mad dog of the Middle East has a goal of a world revolution.  ” —  Ronald Reagan,dog quotes

 

“Thou call'st me dog before thou hadst a cause, But since I am a dog, beware my fangs. ”  —  William Shakespeare

 

“Those who sleep with dogs will rise with fleas.  ” —  Italian Proverb,dog quotes

 

“There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ” ~Ben Williams,dog quotes

 

“The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.  ”  —  Johnny Depp,dog quotes

 

“The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs.  ” —  Jeanne — Marie Roland

 

“The more I know about men the more I like dogs. ”  —  Gloria Allred,dog quotes

 

“The factory of the future will have two employees a man and a dog. The man's job will be to feed the dog. The dog's job will be to prevent the man from touching any of the automated equipment. ”  —  Warren Bennis

 

“The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic.  ” —  Henry Ward Beecher,dog quotes

 

“The dog wags his tail, not for you, but for your bread.  ” —  Portuguese Proverb,dog quotes

 

“The dog that fetches will also carry. ”   —  Latin Proverb

 

“The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his. ”  —  James Grover Thurber

 

“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.  ” —  Charles De Gaulle,dog quotes

 

“The artist should be a seeing — eye dog for a myopic civilization. ”  —  Jacob Getlar Smith,dog quotes

 

“Politicians are interested in people. Not that it is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs.  ” —  P. J. O'Rourke

 

“People just naturally assume that dogs would be incapable of working together on some sort of construction project. But what about just a big field full of holes  ” —  Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

 

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. ”― Groucho Marx,dog quotes

 

“Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun.  ” —  Indian Proverb,dog quotes

 

“One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him.  ” —  Chinese Proverb,dog quotes

 

“On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.  ” —  Peter Steiner,dog quotes

 

“Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.  ” —  Joe Gores

 

“My little dog  —  a heartbeat at my feet.  ” —  Edith Wharton,dog quotes

 

“My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost 7.00 in dog money. ”  —  Joe Weinstein

 

“Men are generally more careful of the breed of their horses and dogs than of their children. ”  —  William Penn

 

“Many people never stop to realize that a tree is a living thing, not that different from a tall, leafy dog that has roots and is very quiet. ”  —  Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

 

“Man is a dog's idea of what God should be. ” ~Holbrook Jackson,dog quotes

 

“Like dogs in a wheel, birds in a cage, or squirrels in a chain, ambitious men still climb and climb, with great labor, and incessant anxiety, but never reach the top. ”  —  Robert Burton

 

“It's too bad that whole families have to be torn apart by something as simple as wild dogs.  ” —  Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

 

“It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog. ”  —  Archie Griffin,dog quotes

 

“It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it  ” —  Eleanor H. Porter

 

“It is entirely seemly for a young man killed in battle to lie mangled by the bronze spear. In his death all things appear fair. But when dogs shame the gray head and gray chin and nakedness of an old man killed, it is the most piteous thing that happens among wretched mortals. ”  —  Homer

 

“In Washington, it's dog eat dog. In academia, it's exactly the opposite. ”  —  Robert Reich,dog quotes

 

“If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, 'Forgive me, but that's just too much.' ”  —  Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

 

“If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.   ” —  Phil Pastoret

 

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.  ” —  Mark Twain

 

“If you are a host to your guest, be a host to his dog also.  ” —  Assyrian Proverb,dog quotes

 

“If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.  ” —  Fran Lebowitz

 

“If we value the pursuit of knowledge, we must be free to follow wherever that search may lead us. The free mind is no barking dog to be tethered on a 1 — foot chain.  ” —  Theodor Wiesengrund Adorno

 

“If there are no dogs in Heaven then, when I die, I want to go where they went.  ” —  Will Rogers,dog quotes

 

“If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. ”  —  James Thurber

 

“If I had a dog I would not feel so lonely, but I suppose that is asking for too much.  ” —  Eva Braun,dog quotes

 

“If dogs could talk, perhaps we'd find it just as hard to get along with them as we do with people. ”  —  Diana Black,dog quotes

 

“If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.  ” —  Alfred North Whitehead

 

“I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. ”  —  Rita Rudner,dog quotes

 

“I wish scientists would come up with a way to make dogs a lot bigger, but with a smaller head. That way, they'd still be good as watchdogs, but they wouldn't eat so much.  ” —  Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

 

“I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway. ”  —  Josh Billings

 

“I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves. ”  —  August Strindberg

 

“I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.  ” —  Sir Winston Churchill,dog quotes

 

“I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.  ” —  Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

 

“I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it. ”  —  Abraham Lincoln,dog quotes

 

“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. ”― Winston S. Churchill

 

“I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward.  ” —  G. K. Chesterton,dog quotes

 

“Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. ”  —  Doug Larson

 

“Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends. ”  —  Alexander Pope,dog quotes

 

“Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.  ” —  Mark Twain

 

“Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work at it until it's done right. ”  —  Walt Disney,dog quotes

 

“Everything I know, I learned from dogs.  ”  —  Nora Roberts,dog quotes

 

“Every man is wise when attacked by a mad dog fewer when pursued by a mad woman only the wisest survive when attacked by a mad notion. ”  —  Robertson Davies

 

“Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. ”  —  Ann Landers

 

“Dogs wait for us faithfully.  ” —  Marcus Tullius Cicero,dog quotes

 

“Dogs never bite me. Just humans. ”― Marilyn Monroe,dog quotes

 

“Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.  ” —  Sigmund Freud

 

“Dogs laugh, but they laugh with their tails. ”  —  Max Eastman,dog quotes

 

“Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.  ” —  Roger Caras,dog quotes

 

“Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in I think that's how dogs spend their lives.  ” —  Sue Murphy

 

“Cry Havoc, and let slip the dogs of war.   ”—  William Shakespeare

 

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. ”  —  Jeff Valdez,dog quotes

 

“But I have always liked bird dogs better than kennel — fed dogs myself —  — you know, one that will get out and hunt for food rather than sit on his fanny and yell.  ” —  Charles E. Wilson

 

“Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home, his face might burn up. ”  —  Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

 

“Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. ”  —  Latin Proverb

 

“Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamppost how it feels about dogs. ”  —  Christopher Hampton

 

“America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair.  ” —  Arnold J. Toynbee

 

“A person who has never owned a dog has missed a wonderful part of life.  ” —  Bob Barker,dog quotes

 


“A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost —  — he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over. ”  —  Josh Billings

 

“A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. ”  —  Ogden Nash,dog quotes

 

“A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. ”― Josh Billings

 

“A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker.  ” —  Buddha

 

“A dog has the soul of a philosopher. ”  —  Plato,dog quotes

 

“A dog has one aim in life… to bestow his heart.  ” —  J. R. Ackerley,dog quotes

 

“A cat will look down to a man. A dog will look up to a man. But a pig will look you straight in the eye and see his equal. ”  —  Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill

 

“A boy can learn a lot from a dog obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.  ” —  Robert Benchley

 

“A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog. ”  —  Jack London,dog quotes

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