Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love. ~ Woody Allen quotes
More from my site
Having sex is like playing bridge
Can we actually “know” the universe
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce
The key is not to think of death as an end. But think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind
If only God would give me some sign- His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy
As the poet said, “Only God can make a tree”
Another good thing about being poor
Basically my wife was immature. I’d be in my bath and she’d come in and sink my boats
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said ‘no’