Can we actually "know" the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown. ~Woody Allen quotes
More from my site
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday
If only God would give me some sign
As the poet said, “Only God can make a tree”
Having sex is like playing bridge
His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy
Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love
The key is not to think of death as an end. But think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses- For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce
Basically my wife was immature. I’d be in my bath and she’d come in and sink my boats
Another good thing about being poor
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said ‘no’