All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening. ~ Alexander Woollcott
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The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless
An expert is a man who tells you a simple thing in a confused way in such a fashion as to make you think the confusion is your own fault
There’s no such thing as fun for the whole family
Another good thing about being poor
To make things simple…let’s automatically assume that everything I say is right
When you’re run down the best thing to take is the license number- The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal- His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy
If only God would give me some sign
He who can does. He who cannot, teaches