All great Drinking Quotes, Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about Drinking

All great Drinking Quotes, Alcohol Quotes, Sayings about Drinking

Drinking Quotes,Alcohol Quotes,funny drinking quotes,college drinking quotes,party quotes,drinking quotes for friends,beer quotes,drinking toasts,funny quotes

Drinking Quotes,Alcohol Quotes,funny drinking quotes,college drinking quotes,party quotes,drinking quotes for friends,beer quotes,drinking toasts,funny quotes

“You're pretty when I'm drunk.”  — The Bloodhound Gang,Drinking Quotes


“You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” — Dean Martin


“Your body is a temple, but keep the spirits on the outside. ” — Author Unknown


“You know what 'SOBER' stands for ? It stands for 'Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real!'”— Gary Busey


“You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning.”  — Celia Rivenbark,Drinking Quotes


“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline; It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.”  — Frank Zappa


“You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.” — Mark Twain


“Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.” ― Steve Martin


“Write drunk; edit sober.” — Ernest Hemingway,Drinking Quotes


“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” —  Oscar Wilde


“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” —  Dave Barry


“Wine is sunlight, held together by water.”  — Galileo,Drinking Quotes


“Wine gives a man nothing it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.” — Samuel Johnson


“Why don't you slip out of those wet clothes and into a dry Martini?”  — Robert Benchley


“Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?” —  The Major and the Minor


“Why does man kill ? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.”— Woody Allen


“Why do I drink Champagne for breakfast? Doesn't everyone?” — Noel Coward,Drinking Quotes


“Whoever takes just plain ginger ale soon gets drowned out of the conversation.”  — Kin Hubbard


“Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold.” — Jerry Vale


“Where ever I go, there I am. Drunk. ” — Rita E. Torres,Drinking Quotes


“Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I’m thirsty, not dirty.” —  Joe E. Lewis


“When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.” — Jimmy Breslin


“When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun, but when you mix the two you become a dumbass.” —  That 70’s Show


“When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging.When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality.”  — Al Capone


“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” — Henny Youngman,Drinking Quotes


“When I drink, I think; and when I think, I drink.” —  Frantois Rabelais


“What's made Milwaukee famous has made a loser out of me.”  — Glenn Sutton


“What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the wind rustling through the leaves, that makes you want to get drunk?”  — Jack Handey


“We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.” ― David Sedaris, Naked


“We drink [to] one another’s health and spoil our own.” —  Jerome K. Jerome


“We borrowed golf from Scotland as we borrowed whiskey. Not because it is Scottish, but because it is good. ” — Horace Hutchinson


“Vodka is just awesome water.”  — Author Unknown,Drinking Quotes


“Too much of anything is bad, but too much Champagne is just right.” — Mark Twain


“To alcohol! The cause of – and solution – to all of life's problems.”  — Homer Simpson


“Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.”  — Catherine Zandonella


“Three be the things I shall never attain: envy, content, and sufficient Champagne.” — Dorothy Parker


“They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.”  — Scottish Proverb


“There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.” — John Candy,Drinking Quotes


“There should be asylums for habitual teetotalers, but they would probably relapse into teetotalism as soon as they got out.” — Samuel Butler


“There may be a few good men who don't drink, but they've got to prove it.”  — Col. Lincoln Karmany, USMC


“There is nothing for a case of nerves like a case of beer.”  — Joan Goldstein


“There is no such thing as a bad whisky. Some whiskies just happen to be better than others.” — William Faulkner


“There comes a time in every woman's life when the only thing that helps is a glass of Champagne.” — Bette Davis


“There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.”  — Benjamin Franklin


“There can be nothing more frequent than an occasional drink.” — Oscar Wilde,Drinking Quotes


“There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.” ― Chelsea Handler


“There are more old drunkards than old physicians.” — Francois Rabelais 


“Then trust me, there's nothing like drinking. So pleasant this side of the grave; it keeps the unhappy from thinking and makes even the valiant more brave. ”  — Charles Didbin


“The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober. ” — William Butler Yeats


“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”  — Humphrey Bogart


“The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk they're sober.” — William Butler Yeats


“The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.”  — Ancient Egyption Proverb, 2200 B.C


“The luck is gone, the brain is shot, but the liquor we still got. ”  — Doug Coughlin from Cocktail


“The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism. ” — Norman Brenner


“The first time I got drunk, I got married. The second time I bought a chimpanzee, after that I stayed sober.”   — Arian Seid.


“The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity.”  — Author Unknown


“The first glass is a sedative, the second a psychologist, the third glass an excuse, and the fourth a lobotomy.” — Terri Guillemets,Drinking Quotes


“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.” — George Bernard Shaw


“The drunk mind speaks the sober heart.”  — Author Unknown


“The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.” — Mignon McLaughlin


“The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a beer bottle, they’re on TV.” —  The Simpsons


“Teetotalers lack the sympathy and generosity of men that drink.”  — W.H. Davies,Drinking Quotes


“Take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lime, and a shot of tequila.”  — Author Unknown


“Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose… it's how drunk you get.”— Homer Simpson.


“Sometimes too much to drink is barely enough.” — Mark Twain


“Show me how you drink and I will tell you who you are.” — Emile Peynaud


“Responsible drinking? Now that’s an oxymoron.” —  Aaron Howard,Drinking Quotes


“Remember gentleman, it’s not just France we’re fighting for, it’s Champagne!” — Sir Winston Churchill


“Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.” —  N.F. Simpson,Drinking Quotes


“Protocol, alcohol, and Geritol” — Adlai E. Stevenson


“Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into.”  — Don Marquis


“Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.”  — Al Bundy, Married with Children


“People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.” — Ann Landers


“One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.”  — Lady Astor


“One martini is all right. Two are too many, and three are not enough.” — James Thurber


“Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. ” — W.C. Fields


“On some days, my head is filled with such wild and original thoughts that I can barely utter a word. On other days, the liquor store is closed.” — Frank Varano


“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so?There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” ― Drew Carey


“Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink.”  — Mark Twain


“Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.” — Rick Blaine


“O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts!”  — William Shakespeare, Othello


“Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy, I've done it a thousand times.”  — W.C. Fields


“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. ”  — Dave Barry


“No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.”  — John Churchill


“No nation is drunken where wine is cheap.” — Thomas Jefferson,Drinking Quotes


“No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness — or so good as drink.”  — Lord Chesterton


“Next to music, beer was best.” ― Carson McCullers


“Never cry over spilt milk. It could've been whiskey.”  — Pappy from Maverick


“My uncle was the town drunk – and we lived in Chicago.” — George Gobel,Drinking Quotes


“My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle”. — Henny Youngman


“My father warned me about men and booze… but he never said anything about women and cocaine.”— Tallulah Bankhead


“My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.” — Rodney Dangerfield


“My dad was the town drunk.Usually that's not so bad, but New York City?” — Henny Youngman


“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. ”  — Arnold Schwarzenegger


“Meeting Franklin Roosevelt was like opening your first bottle of champagne; knowing him was like drinking it.” — Winston Churchill


“Maybe talking when I’m piss ass drunk isn’t entirely bright.” —  Chris McGowan,Drinking Quotes


“Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.” —  Lord Byron


“Life's a waste of time, time's a waste of life so let's all get wasted and have the time of our life. ” — Author Unknown


“Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.” ― Jim Butcher


“Know thyself, especially thyself after a couple of drinks.”  — Robert Brault 


“Just because you can't dance, doesn't meant you shouldn't dance.”    — Alcohol


“Jim Beam's giving me the right to be wrong.” — The Beat Farmers,Drinking Quotes


“I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served. ” — George Gobel


“It’s like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don’t know where you’re going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It’s like the throw of the dice.” —  Jim Morrison


“It’s a great advantage not to drink among hard drinking people.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald


“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.”  — George Burns


“It is better to think of church in the ale-house than to think of the ale-house in church.” — Martin Luther


“Is the glass half full or half empty? It depends on whether you're pouring or drinking.” — Bill Cosby


“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.”  — Benjamin Franklin


“I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice – I don't know if I'm coming or going.” — Rodney Dangerfield


“I'm only a beer teetotaler, not a champagne teetotaler; I don't like beer.” — George Bernard Shaw


“I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk. We go to parties.”  — Author Unknown


“I'm gonna drink you pretty.” — The Beat Farmers,Drinking Quotes


“I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver.”  — Phil Harris


“I'm getting drunk, with or without you.” — The Beat Farmers


“I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death.”— Jack Kerouac


“I'll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.”  — Hawkeye from M*A*S*H


“If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.”  — Clement Freud


“If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.”  — Author unknown 


“If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.”  — Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


“If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.”  — Dean Martin,Drinking Quotes


“If you don't drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, -And then I go home-.” — Jim Jefferies


“If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat — in other words, turn you into an adult.”  — P.J. O'Rourke


“If I have one, I'll have thirteen. No, there ain't no in-betwee. Cuz the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink.”  — Blake Shelton


“If I had not some strength of will I would make a first class drunkard.”— Ernest Shackleton


“If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs.” —  David Daye


“If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.”  — Joseph Schenck


“If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic.”  — Author Unknown


“I'd prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.”  — Frank Nicholson 


“I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been overserved.” — George Gobel,Drinking Quotes


“I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.”— Hunter S. Thompson


“I work until beer o'clock.” — Stephen King,Drinking Quotes


“I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.” — Charles Bukowski


“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.” ― Chelsea Handler


“I went on a diet, swore off drinking, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.” — Joe E Lewis


“I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.”  — David Lee Roth


“I used to drink, I did. I had to quit. Man, I was an embarrassing drunk. I'd get pulled over by the cops, I'd be so drunk I'd be out dancing in their lights thinking I'd made it to the next club.”    — Bill Hicks.


“I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite. ” — Bette Midler


“I think hangovers are the body's way of telling us we didn't drink enough to still be drunk when we woke up the next day.”— Tidewater Joe


“I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.”  — Raymond Chandler,Drinking Quotes


“I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.”  — Brendan Behan


“I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.”  — John Marcellus Huston


“I only take a drink on two occasions: when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.”— Brendan Behan


“I only drink Champagne when in love and when not.” — Christian Pol Roger,Drinking Quotes


“I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.” — Dean Martin


“I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.”  — Brendan Behan


“I love to drink martinis. Two at the very most. Three I’m under the table. Four I’m under my host.” — Dorothy Parker


“I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly . . . ” —  Anchorman


“I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.”  — W.C. Fields,Drinking Quotes


“I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.” — P.J. O'Rourke


“I like my whiskey old and my women young. ”  — Errol Flynn


“I like liquor — its taste and its effects — and that is just the reason why I never drink it. ” — Stonewall Jackson


“I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of Communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.” — Dave Berry


“I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.” — Robert Benchley


“I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors.” —  Joe E. Lewis,Drinking Quotes


“I knew I was drunk. I felt sophisticated and couldn’t pronounce it.” —  Anonymous


“I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink.” — Richard Burton


“I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.” — Sir Winston Churchill


“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.”  — Hunter S. Thompson


“I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking up in my car driving ninety.” — Richard Pryor


“I had a dream last night that I drank the largest Margarita in Texas. When I woke up, there was salt on the toilet lid and rim. Sure, it sounds gross, but at least now I have an explanation for the blue tongue.” — P. Salyer


“I got so wasted one night I waited for the stop sign to change, and it did.” —  Steve Krabitz


“I find the more I drink, the more interesting others become.” —  Tom Ralphs,Drinking Quotes


“I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.” — Dean Martin


“I envy people who drink— at least they know what to blame everything on.” — Oscar Levant


“I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.” — Miguel de Cervantes


“I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.” — Rodney Dangerfield


“I drink to make other people interesting.” —  George Jean Nathan,Drinking Quotes


“I drink to forget I drink. ” — Joe E. Lewis


“I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.”  — Don Marquis


“I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more. ” — H.L. Mencken,Drinking Quotes


“I drink Champagne when I win, to celebrate.And I drink Champagne when I lose, to console myself.”  — Napoleon Bonaparte


“I don't get drunk, I get awesome.”  — Author Unknown


“I don't drink anymore, on the other hand I don't drink any less either.” — W. C. Fields


“I don't care how liberated this world becomes, a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume, and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not. ”  — Doug Coughlin from Cocktail


“I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.” —  Joe E. Lewis


“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” ― W.C. Fields


“I believe that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade — and then try to find someone whose life is giving them vodka, and have a party.”  — Ron White,Drinking Quotes


“I began to think vodka was my drink at last. It didn’t taste like anything, but it went straight down into my stomach like a sword swallowers’ sword and made me feel powerful and godlike.” ― Sylvia Plath


“I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.” — Noel Coward


“I am a drinker with a writing problem.” — Brendan Behan


“I always wake up at the crack of ice.” — Joe E. Lewis


“How do you look when I'm sober?” — Ring Lardner


“How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?”  — Author Unknown


“Here's to alcohol, the rose colored glasses of life.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald,Drinking Quotes


“Here’s to alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems.” —  The Simpsons


“Health — what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down.”  — Phyllis Diller


“He was a wise man who invented beer.”  — Plato


“He that drinks fast, pays slow.” —  Benjamin Franklin


“Good people drink good beer.” ― Hunter S. Thompson


“God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world. ”  — Ed McMahon


“Go thy way, eat thy bread with joy, and drink thy wine with a merry heart; for God now accepted thy works.” — Ecclesiastes 9. 7 – The Bible,Drinking Quotes


“From man's sweat and God's love, beer came into the world. ” — Saint Arnoldus


“For a quart of ale is a dish for a king.” — William Shakespeare


“First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald


“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.”    — Dean Vernon Wormer.


“Everyone who drinks is not a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets.” — Dudley Moore 


“Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. ” — Author Unknown


“Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.” — Jean Kerr


“Drunkenness is temporary suicide. ” — Bertrand Russell, The Conquest of Happiness


“Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.”  — Seneca,Drinking Quotes


“Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat, hairy girls.” — Ross Levy


“Drinking makes uninteresting people matter less and late at night, matter not at all.” — Lillian Hellman


“Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.”  — Robert Benchley


“Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!” ― Warren Ellis


“Drinking beer doesn’t make you fat; it makes you lean… against bars, tables, chairs, and poles.” —  Anonymous


“Drink what you want; drink what you’re able. If you are drinking with me, you’ll be under the table.” —  Anonymous


“Drink the first. Sip the second slowly. Skip the third.” — Knute Rockne,Drinking Quotes


“Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him.” -Irish Proberb


“Don't trust a brilliant idea unless it survives the hangover. ” — Jimmy Breslin


“Don't bother trying to join the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms. It turns out they're apparently against all three.” — Wiley


“Did you ever drink so much of a certain type of alcohol that you get so sick that you can never drink the same kind again ? I've decided that's how I'm going to quit drinking. One-at-a-time.” — Doug Stanhope


“Champagne is one of the elegant extras in life.” — Charles Dickens,Drinking Quotes


“Champagne and orange juice is a great drink. The orange improves the champagne. The champagne definitely improves the orange.” — Philip, Duke of Edinburgh


“Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.” —  Ogden Nash


“But Champagne is not drinking.” — David Niven


“Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out and then bring one every 10 minutes . . .”  — Thornton Mellon


“Brandy, n. A cordial composed of one part thunder-and-lightning, one part remorse, two parts bloody murder, one part death-hell-and-the-grave and four parts clarified Satan.”  — Ambrose Bierce


“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.”  — Henry Lawson,Drinking Quotes


“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” — Benjamin Franklin


“Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.” —  Anonymous


“Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors… and miss. ” — Robert Heinlein


“Babies are like the smallest, drunkest people you know.”  — Nick Swardson


“Aye, but today's rain is tomorrow's whiskey.” — Scottish proverb


“Any man who eats dessert is not drinking enough.”  — Ernest Hemingway


“An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer.”  — Confucius,Drinking Quotes


“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” ― Ernest Hemingway


“An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.”  — Dylan Thomas


“An alcoholic has been lightly defined as a man who drinks more than his own doctor. ” — Dr. Alvan L. Barach


“Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway


“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.” — W.C. Fields


“Always be drunk … Get drunk militantly. Just get drunk.”— Charles Baudelaire


“Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.”  — Adam Sandler in The Wedding Singer


“All is fair in love and beer.” —  Kurt Paradis,Drinking Quotes


“All I ever did was supply a demand that was pretty popular.” — Al Capone


“Alcoholic friends are as easy to make as Sea Monkeys.” —  Dry


“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” —  Frank Sinatra


“Alcohol kills slowly. Good, I'm in no hurry.”   — Coluche


“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. ” — George Bernard Shaw


“Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin. ” — P.G. Wodehouse


“Ah that’s just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.” —  The Simpsons,Drinking Quotes


“After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were. After the second, you see things as they are not. Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.” ― Oscar Wilde


“Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.” — George Burns


“Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.” — Ambrose Bierce


“A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.” — W. C. Fields


“A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.” — W. C. Fields


“A man ought not never to get drunk above the neck. ” — Author Unknown


“A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn’t afterward.” — Frank Lloyd Wright


“A lady came up to me one day and said 'Sir! You are drunk', to which I replied 'I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.” ― Winston S. Churchill


“A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.” — Czech Proverb


“A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started." ”  — Henny Youngman


“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.” —  Steve Fergosi


“A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.” — Bumper sticker


“24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” — Stephen Wright,Drinking Quotes


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