alcohol quotes,alcohol funny quotes,drunk quotes,food quotes

alcohol quotes

alcohol quotes,alcohol funny quotes,drunk quotes,food quotes
Tags: alcohol quotes,alcohol funny quotes,drunk quotes,food quotes

 
1.
Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly. – Rita Rudner


2.
No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness — or so good as drink.  – Lord Chesterton


3.
Never cry over split milk. It could've been whiskey.-  alcohol quotes by Pappy from Maverick


4.
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after, and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them. – Winston Churchill


5.
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.  – Henny Youngman


6.
My experience through life has convinced me that, while moderation and temperance in all things are commendable and beneficial, abstinence from spirituous liquors is the best safeguard of morals and health. –  alcohol quotes by Robert E. Lee


7.
Maybe talking when I’m piss ass drunk isn’t entirely bright. –  Chris McGowan


8.
Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; The best of life is but intoxication. –  alcohol quotes by Lord Byron 


9.
Life's a waste of time, time's a waste of life so let's all get wasted and have the time of our life.  – Author Unknown


10.
Know thyself, especially thyself after a couple of drinks.  –  alcohol quotes by Robert Brault


11.
It’s like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don’t know where you’re going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It’s like the throw of the dice. –   alcohol quotes by Jim Morrison


12.
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. -George Burns


13.
It is the unbroken testimony of all history that alcoholic liquors have been used by the strongest, wisest, handsomest, and in every way best races of all times.– George Saintsbury


14.
It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety.  – Thomas de Quincy, Confessions of an English Opium-Eater, 1856


15.
Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics should be told not to fuck.– George Carlin


16.
In Wine There is Wisdom, In Beer There is Strength, In Water There is Bacteria. -Olde German Saying


17.
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.–  alcohol quotes by George Best


18.
I'm not an alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk. We go to parties.  – Author Unknown


19.
I'm going to be around until the Atomic Energy Commission finds a safe place to bury my liver.  – Phil Harris


20.
I'm Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death.    — Jack Kerouac


21.
I'm an alcoholic. I'm a drug addict. I'm homosexual. I'm a genius.    — Truman Capote


22.
If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.- Clement Freud


23.
If you must drink and drive, drink Pepsi.  – Author unknown


24.
If you know someone who tries to drown their sorrows, you might tell them sorrows know how to swim.  – Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.


25.
If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel. – Robert Louis Stevenson


26.
If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. – Jack Handy


27.
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.  – Dean Martin


28.
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult.– P.J. O’Rourke


29.
If God had intended us to drink beer, he would have given us stomachs. –  David Daye


30.
If four or five guys tell you that you're drunk, even though you know you haven't had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while.  – Joseph Schenck


31.
If drinking is interfering with your work, you're probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you're probably an alcoholic. – Author Unknown


32.
I'd prefer to have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.  – Frank Nicholson, attributed


33.
I’ve never been drunk, but often I’ve been overserved. –  George Gobel


34.
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.    — Hunter S. Thompson


35.
I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer.  – Lady Astor


36.
I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer. The future's uncertain and the end is always near.-Jim Morrison


37.
I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.– Frida Kahlo


38.
I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won't let himself get snotty about it.  – Raymond Chandler


39.
I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars – the rest I just squandered. – George Best


40.
I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.  – John Marcellus Huston


41.
I only take a drink on two occasions: when I'm thirsty and when I'm not.    — Brendan Behan


42.
I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.- Brendan Behan


43.
I may be drunk, but in the morning i‘ll be sober and you‘ll still be ugly. – Winston Churchill


44.
I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly . . .  –  Anchorman


45.
I like to keep a bottle of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy. – W.C. Fields


46.
I like to do my principal research in bars, where people are more likely to tell the truth or, at least, lie less convincingly than they do in briefings and books.– P.J. O’Rourke


47.
I like my beer cold…my TV loud…and my homosexuals flaming.– Homer Simpson


48.
I like liquor — its taste and its effects — and that is just the reason why I never drink it.  – Stonewall Jackson


49.
I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of Communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working. – Dave Berry


50.
I know a lot more old drunks than old doctors. –  Joe E. Lewis


51.
I knew I was drunk. I felt sophisticated and couldn’t pronounce it. –  Anonymous


52.
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. – Winston Churchill


53.
I have made an important discovery…that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. – Oscar Wilde


54.
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society, except that which makes to road safer, the beer stronger, the old men and women warmer in the winter, and happier in the summer.– Brendan Behan


55.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. – Hunter S. Thompson 


56.
I had to stop drinkin, cuz I got tired of waking in my car driving ninety.    — Richard Pryor


57.
I got so wasted one night I waited for the stop sign to change, and it did. –  Steve Krabitz


58.
I find the more I drink, the more interesting others become. –  Tom Ralphs


59.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.  – Frank Sinatra


60.
I envy people who drink—at least they know what to blame everything on.  – Oscar Levant


61.
I drink when I have occasion… and sometimes when I have no occasion. – Miguel De Cervantes


62.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. –  Rodney Dangerfield


63.
I drink to make other people interesting. – George Jean Nathan


64.
I drink therefore I am.– W.C. Fields


65.
I drink only to make my friends seem interesting.  – Don Marquis


66.
I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.  – H.L. Mencken

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *