A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said 'no'. ~ Woody Allen
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If only God would give me some sign
As the poet said, “Only God can make a tree”
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday
Having sex is like playing bridge
The key is not to think of death as an end. But think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses
The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God’s mind
For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce- Football is all very well a good game for rough girls, but not for delicate boys
Basically my wife was immature. I’d be in my bath and she’d come in and sink my boats
Another good thing about being poor
Can we actually “know” the universe
Don’t knock masturbation. It’s sex with someone I love