A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. ~ Emo Philips
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Computers are great because when you’re working with them you get immediate results that let you know if your program works
A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid
A compromise is an agreement whereby both parties get what neither of them wanted.
A wise saying is something you keep picking up off the floor in front of your fridge
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said ‘no’
A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn’t
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it is written on
A man’s only as old as the woman he feels
A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke
A good sermon should be like a woman’s skirt
A great name for a new country song: If I’d Shot You Sooner, I’d Be Out of Jail by Now.- A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well know