A collection of funny chelsea handler quotes about love and life

A collection of funny chelsea handler quotes about love and life

Chelsea Handler is the undisputed queen of late night comedy.the hilarious comedian.Here is a collection of her funniest quotes about love,life,enjoy!


1.
“When I ever am around kids it's always a reminder not to have them.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

1-chelsea-handler-quotes



2.
“I'm a ridiculous person. If you take anything any comedian says seriously, then you're stupid.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

2-chelsea-handler-quotes


3.
“Just be honest with who you are and if you don't end up with any friends, good for you.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

3-chelsea-handler-quotes


4.
“If somebody took the F letter away from me, I'd be "ucked".” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

4-chelsea-handler-quotes



5.
“It's good because people just think I'm kidding, but i'm really not.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

5-chelsea-handler-quotes



6.
“I dislike so many things…and people.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

6-chelsea-handler-quotes



7.
“Oh,fuck off.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

7-chelsea-handler-quotes


8.
“Isn't it funny when people are like, "You have the best life!" And you're like, "Do I? 'Cause I feel super bloated."” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

8-chelsea-handler-quotes



9.
“When no one believes in you, just believe in yourself.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

9-chelsea-handler-quotes



10.
“I love to drink. I don't understand people who don't drink. I don't want to talk to them.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

10-chelsea-handler-quotes


11.
“I have been on a life-long search of how to stay in shape without putting any effort into it whatsoever.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

11-chelsea-handler-quotes


12.
“The reason I watch porn is for their erotic locales, intricate story lines and cliffhangers.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

12-chelsea-handler-quotes



13.
“When life hands you lemons, make lemonade…with vodka.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

13-chelsea-handler-quotes


14.
“I work better on a hangover actually.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

14-chelsea-handler-quotes



15.
“You should always speak your mind, and be bold, and be obnoxious, and do whatever you want and don’t let anybody tell you to stop it.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

15-chelsea-handler-quotes



16.
“Luckily, I speak slut.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

16-chelsea-handler-quotes


17.
“I am not a full-time homosexual, but I do party like one.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

17-chelsea-handler-quotes


18.
“You should always speak your mind and be bold and be obnoxious and do whatever you want and don't let anybody tell you to stop it.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

18-chelsea-handler-quotes


19.
“I,for one, can't wait until a woman gets into office and finally straightens the shit out.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

19-chelsea-handler-quotes



20.
“Happy holidays everybody. I'm single and available.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

20-chelsea-handler-quotes


21.
“I like to stay at home and sit on my ass.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

21-chelsea-handler-quotes



22.
“People are always like, ‘Oh she’s such a bitch.’ I’m like, ‘Yeah, I am a bitch, actually.'” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

22-chelsea-handler-quotes


More about Chelsea Handler quotes:

“… go for it. Go wherever you can afford to go with whomever you can get to go with you.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes


    
“Everyone has their shit. Everyone is trying to be the best they can be. Everyone is struggling. Everyone is learning from each other.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes


    
“I don’t like the word ‘alcoholic.’ I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

 

“I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

 

“I went out with a guy who once told me I didn’t need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I’m drinking so that you’re more fun to be around.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea    

 

“Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes, Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me    

 

“Men don’t realize that if we’re sleeping with them on the first date, we’re probably not interested in seeing them again either.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes    

 

“Next time you see a single woman, instead of asking her where her boyfriend, husband or eunuch is, congratulate her on her accomplished sense of self and for reaching the solitary mountaintop by herself without a ring on her finger weighing her down like a male paperweight.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes

 

“Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with someone long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes, Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea    

 

“There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes, My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands 

   

“You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.” — Chelsea Handler Quotes
    

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *