45 inspirational and funny thanksgiving quotes of all time

45 inspirational and funny thanksgiving quotes of all time

What if today we were just grateful for everything.Here is the list of 45 Incredible Happy Thanksgiving Day Quotes for you.About Thanksgiving Day,There are many funny quotes and sayings by famous auther,Here is a collection of best funny thanksgiving quotes,

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“A lot of Thanksgiving days have been ruined by not carving the turkey in the kitchen.” —  Kin Hubbard

“After Thanksgiving dinner men fall asleep because they’re full of turkey; women fall asleep because they’re exhausted. ” — Melanie White,funny thanksgiving quotes

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.” — Irv Kupcinet

“Coexistence… what the farmer does with the turkey – until Thanksgiving.” — Mike Connolly

“Every Thanksgiving I think about how much Pilgrims had to sacrifice just so we could have a day off work. ” — Melanie White,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Every Thanksgiving I’m thankful I decided to wait until New Years to start my diet.  ” — Melanie White,funny thanksgiving quotes

“For those of you who cannot be with family this Thanksgiving, please resist the urge to brag. ” — Andy Borowitz,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” —  William Arthur Ward

“How to cut a turkey the Republican way: give 1% of your guests 99% of the meat. ” — Andy Borowitz,funny thanksgiving quotes

“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. ” — Jon Stewart

“I don’t eat pumpkin pie. It’s made from the guts of jack-o-lanterns, and that’s just spooky. ” — Melanie White,funny thanksgiving quotes

“I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. It's a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving. ” — Craig Ferguson,funny thanksgiving quotes

“I love Thanksgiving turkey… it's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ” — Arnold Schwarzenegger

“If you want to save a species, simply decide to eat it. Then it will be managed, like chickens, like turkeys, like deer, like Canadian geese. ” — Ted Nugent,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Mom’s Thanksgiving diet tip: Don’t be a turkey and eat like such a pig. ” — Anonymous,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother’s tasted better the day before.” — Rita Rudner

“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” — Phyllis Diller

“No prayer can be better than the prayer of giving sincere thanks and praises to God.”

“Nothing can be compared to the love and affection you have showered me with. I am so lucky to have someone like you around. It’s really nice to be your friend. All I can say is thank you for everything.”

“On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence.” — William Jennings Bryan

“Sending you double blessings as you celebrate the Festival of Lights and Thanksgiving.”

“Somehow, I feel that the spirit of Thanksgiving is at odds with beating someone up for a new flat screen on Black Friday. ” — Andy Borowitz,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Thanksgiving – when the people who are the most thankful are the ones who didn’t have to cook.  ” — Melanie White,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude.” — E.P. Powell

“Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence.” —  Erma Bombeck

“Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each relative goes home. ” — Melanie White,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. ” — Michael Dresser,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday.  People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year.  And then discover once a year is way too often. ” — Johnny Carson,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Thanksgiving is here,So live it up and be of good cheer, Feast on goodies and have fun.”

“Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year. ” — P.J. O'Rourke Thankful

“Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape … to play Santa Claus. ” — Melanie White,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Thanksgiving, man. Not a good day to be my pants.” — Kevin James

“The lesson of Thanksgiving is you should avoid meeting new people because they’ll just end up slaughtering your entire population. ” — Bryan Donaldson,funny thanksgiving quotes

“The perfect way to get back at a man for forgetting Valentine’s Day is to forget to cook Thanksgiving dinner. ” — Melanie White,funny thanksgiving quotes

“The Pilgrims had amazing foresight to invent Thanksgiving and football on the same day.  ” —  Greg Tamblyn,funny thanksgiving quotes

“The turkey gobbles till it’s killed, then we gobble till we’re filled. ” — Greg Tamblyn,funny thanksgiving quotes

“There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing. ” — Oscar Wilde,funny thanksgiving quotes

“There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.” —  O. Henry

“This Thanksgiving I hope you're able to avoid the tragedy of the different foods on your plate touching one another.” 

“To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. ” — Reba McEntire,funny thanksgiving quotes

“Turkey farmers look forward to Thanksgiving almost as much as the manufacturers of Rolaids.  ” — Melanie White,funny thanksgiving quotes

“We should look for someone to eat and drink with before looking for something to eat and drink.  ” — Epicurus,funny thanksgiving quotes

“We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing.” — George Carlin: 

“We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving.  Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan.  You get more stuffing. ” — George Carlin,funny thanksgiving quotes

“You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.” — Jay Leno


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